Posted on Friday June 26, 2020

But Which One Of You Is The Mum?

I saw someone’s post this morning about this being LGBT History Month and it got me thinking.


I’m not one to openly talk about this topic, and those who know me will know that I find it difficult to be “out” in the business world, probably due to my own weird homophobia.


That being said, I now have two lovely boys who are approaching 1 next month and a beautiful wife who has been with me over 12 years now. I therefore must get over the inability to be myself, especially in the business world, as I need to set a good example to my sons and let them know it’s cool to have two Mums, especially two who have drive and ambition.


Back when I was in school, LGBT life was so far away from anything I had even come across. I think I was in Uni when I first even heard that people were LGBT and people were OK with it. I did have a pretty sheltered life back before Uni as I wasn’t able to go out etc (but that’s another story). My first experience of a gay bar was when I went from Chester to Liverpool and we were in the Lisbon followed by the GBar, where I bumped into one of my best friends from school and both of us stopped in our tracks: “what are you doing here?” “Erm, what are you doing here?” Both answering at the same time: “Don’t tell anyone!”


Today’s post made me think of this moment, and all of the other moments people had when they were first on their LGBT journey.


My dissertation in Uni was looking at the cultural differences between Liverpool and Manchester and whether that impacted the development of their gay scene vs the Liverpool Scene. During my research I found it really difficult, even back then to picture Homosexuality as some illegal act, with members of the LGBT community completely segregated and even having to socialise in underground bars away from other people. I know people now who remember times like this, and LGBT life today is completely different.


Now, I often see lesbian or gay teenagers (I say teenagers loosely, they look about 10 years old to me) holding hands in the street in Liverpool City Centre and think “they’re brave, I wouldn’t be doing that in town”, and think how people are becoming more and more accepting.


I still find it hard to “out” myself. I don’t feel it is anyone’s business about who I am or who I am with. However if my boys are to accept us parents for who we are, then I must accept us for who we are and be proud of that.


Don’t get me wrong, we went on a family holiday to Portugal last week, and got the “aww is that your friend coming to help you with the twins” comments, and I did die a little inside when I corrected people (Jo was mortified too haha), especially at the look on their face in disbelief when they were put right.


Anyway, I’m sure we will get there one day, and when our boys are my age things will be very different. Maybe there will be no segregation at all. How cool will that be?


I know this article is being posted at the tail end of LGBT History month, but I’m always late to the party.


There is still an exhibition being held at Liverpool Museum until 31st March (day after my boys birthday). It would be worth heading there to find out more about LGBT history in Liverpool.